Tag: brat

Little Bobby, the Neighborhood Shit

by on Sep.05, 2010, under Current

An Open Letter to all Shitty Neighborhood Parents:

NO! My son CANNOT play with your bratty fucking Kid! I gave your White Trash Clan the benefit of the doubt, when you first moved here. I refused to react like my own mother, and let my son hang out with your little Trailer-Bred Spawn. My Mistake!

First off, the little Fucker is destructive! He’s broken landscape lights and window screens. He’s thrown rocks all over the grass, and into the pond. He bent the slide, and damaged the pool. He’s also contributed directly to the sudden influx of broken toys, this summer! I have even caught the little Bastard climbing the front of my house! The fact that your Family doesn’t give a shit about your OWN property is obvious! If your weeds are 5 feet tall, don’t bother making excuses for your “landscaping”. However, I like to keep my place looking good!

Little Bobby has also shown great skill in Thievery! Over the past 2 months he has stolen Hot Wheels, a light saber, Game Boy games, along with assorted small plastic toys. He also stole 12 dollars in tooth and report card money! And, now, my son’s scooter is missing.¬† Although I cannot say say DEFINITELY that Little Bobby swiped it, he probably fucking DID! When I approached you about these issues, you did nothing. So I have to assume that thievery is a common trade in your Clan. Another reason to stay the fuck away from my house!

Your precious Little Bobby is also a HORRIBLY Bad Influence! And that is saying something, coming from me! That scurvy little Fuck has gotten my son to sneak out of his window, play in the street, and ride his bike into parked cars. I’ve caught them panhandling on the sidewalk, and accusing the old Guy from up the street of trying to kill them! Your Spawn is an annoying little Asshat!

All this really shouldn’t surprise me, after observing the ADULT behavior around your house this Summer. There’s something to be said for a Father who likes to tell people he’s been in prison. And, a Mother who steals shit off the Cable Guy’s truck. Parents who tell the neighbors to, “Please, don’t call the cops, because SHE has warrants”! The fact that your fucking Pit Bull attacked my dog through my fence didn’t help “neighborly” relations, either! !

So, NO! My son CANNOT come out! And YOU, Little Bobby, you Fucking Brat, can GO FUCKING HOME!

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